Tea Room Conversation with Jessica Sweet
Life Coach and Clinical Social Worker
The case for doing what you love has been made over and over again, by authors, philosophers, poets, - even by Steve Jobs. I’ll assume you don’t need convincing that a happier life is better than an unhappy one, and that doing something you love is a key component of having a life you love. But how do you get there? How can you begin to understand what will make you happy and fulfilled?
In this article, I’ll share one tool with you that will help get you started on your journey to doing what you love. This is a formula that will take into account all the components – or elements – you need to consider to find what you love. To be clear, when I talk about doing what you love, I’m talking about nothing less than finding a calling.
Your calling is about more than just following your passions. It’s about understanding yourself deeply – what you are passionate about, yes, but also what you are good at, who you are at our core, and the difference you’d like to make in the world. There might be many things that you love, but until you can fit all these pieces together, it probably won’t feel right.
So what are the elements that you must take into account to get to your calling? Here they are:
Passions: This is the one we all think about, so much so that it’s almost synonymous with calling. Passions are what you love. They are the things you could do all day, every day, and not get bored. They are your “bliss”. Follow it, but don’t stop here. . .
Essence: This element is about who you are at your core. Are you a giver? Are you dynamic? What qualities did you bring with you into the world? What beautiful things have you grown into? Understanding who you are will allow you to do whatever you choose in a way that feels authentic to you. Your passion may tell you you’re an artist, but your essence may say that you’re one that should be on stage with your name in bright lights – not toiling away on a canvas masterpiece.
Experiences: This is about the experiences, good or bad, large or small, significant and seemingly insignificant, that have shaped you and your mission here. Experiences for the purpose of this exercise highlight what you are here to do in some way. These are any experiences that have altered or illustrated your life’s work.
Skills: What are your “superpowers”? Innate or learned, it doesn’t matter; your superpowers are those things that you are great at doing. When you tap into this “zone of genius” the work that you do will feel natural. You won’t feel like you’re walking through quicksand. It may not always be easy, but it will be in your zone – the way writing Romeo and Juliet probably wasn’t easy for Shakespeare.
Giving: What do you have to give to the world? What difference do you want to make? What is your personal mission? It may or may not have anything to do with a charitable mission, but you are here to make some difference in the world. Understanding what you have to give makes all that you do feel like more than an exercise in hedonism. It helps you take your fantastic work and make a lasting impact on the world, giving you satisfaction beyond the simple joy you’ll find in the doing of what you love.
While so much that you can read these days about finding your calling focuses on passions, this formula takes it to a deeper level. It not only asks you to examine what you love, but who you are and are not (essence), what you are amazing at (skills), what life has been teaching you about where you are going (experiences) and what difference you are here to make (giving). When you honor what these elements teach you about yourself, you can place yourself in a space that will feel like your calling.
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